What is a KISS?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.
What men do after sex?
2% eat; 3% smoke cigarettes; 4% take a shower; 5% go to sleep and 86% get up and go back home to their wives.
What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.
ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY !!!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Man.Utd vs Arsenal
The 1st Leg
Man.Utd Vs Arsenal
Malaysian Time 2:45am 30/4/09
The 2nd Leg
Arsenal Vs Man.utd
Malaysian Time 2:45am 5/5/09
May The Best Team Wins !!!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Slumdog dad arrested
SLUMDOG Millionaire starlet RUBINA ALI'S father was arrested last night over claims he tried to sell his daughter for £200,000 - after a complaint from his ex-wife.
Indian cops spent several hours quizzing Rafiq Qureshi, 36, and are now anxious to obtain video recordings of the meeting at which the deal was supposedly brokered.
Rubina's mother Khurshida - who walked out on the family in 2001 - claimed she knew two weeks ago of the intended child-trade with a rich Dubai sheikh.
But she added: "My elder daughter had informed me...I did not believe he would actually go through with it."
Khurshida branded Rafiq and his new wife Mina as "money-crazy" and desperate to cash-in on the nine-year-old's fame.
Police official Prakash Salunke, who is leading the investigation, said: "Khursida was very upset by the media reports and she came to lodge a complaint.
"We are registering her grievance and then we'll investigate and decide what further steps should be taken in the matter.
"When we questioned Rubina she said she does not want to go anywhere and wants to live with her father.
"Similarly, Rafiq Qureshi also said he has no intentions of selling her."
Christian Colson, the producer of Slumdog Millionaire, said: "Our friends and colleagues in Mumbai are trying to speak with Mr Qureshi to get to the bottom of what happened."
Meanwhile, Rafiq and Rubina were in hiding after giving detailed accounts of the five-star hotel meeting with the sheikh called Yunis and his "wife".
He said the sheikh had been phoning him since Slumdog swept the Oscars in January and had explained that his wife could not have children.
At the hotel Latika actress Rubina was showered with gifts including gold jewelry and chocolate, and he believed the couple were only insterested in her welfare.
They were summoned back again th next day, at which an assistant informed Rafiq that the sheikh would like to bring the girl up as his own.
Rafiq,a £2-a-day laborer, said: "I politely said Rubina is happy with me and wanted to leave. After this they made an offer of money in English which I did not understand.
"Then they requested me to leave her there overnight and take her in the morning. I refused and took Rubina away with me."
However, family friend Dinesh Dubey said Rubina was finding the whole drama "funny" and had asked Rafiq: "Father, how did you land in trouble - because of me?"
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The Dating Game
AMERICAN WOMEN
1st Date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
2nd Date: You get to grope all over and make out.
3rd Date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry
her but will probably abandon the idea.
JAPANESE WOMEN
1st Date: She's shy, so you don't get to kiss her at all.
2nd Date: She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.
3rd Date: You get to have kinky sex with her. Then she'll bid you sayonara, as that
was her last fling as getting married to a Japanese man tomorrow.
CHINESE WOMEN
1st Date: You lose all your cash in your callet.
2nd Date: You max out all credit cards.
3rd Date: You clean out your bank account and you still can't get first base. Three
weeks after your third date , you have already realised that nothing's
going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
1st Date: You meet her parents.
2nd Date: The date is set for the wedding.
3rd Date: It's your wedding night !
Hahahahahhaha..cheers guys !!!
1st Date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
2nd Date: You get to grope all over and make out.
3rd Date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry
her but will probably abandon the idea.
JAPANESE WOMEN
1st Date: She's shy, so you don't get to kiss her at all.
2nd Date: She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.
3rd Date: You get to have kinky sex with her. Then she'll bid you sayonara, as that
was her last fling as getting married to a Japanese man tomorrow.
CHINESE WOMEN
1st Date: You lose all your cash in your callet.
2nd Date: You max out all credit cards.
3rd Date: You clean out your bank account and you still can't get first base. Three
weeks after your third date , you have already realised that nothing's
going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
1st Date: You meet her parents.
2nd Date: The date is set for the wedding.
3rd Date: It's your wedding night !
Hahahahahhaha..cheers guys !!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Subject Of Wives
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
What Is Vaisakhi Festival ?
On this memorable Baisakhi day (March,30 of A.D.1699) , Guru Gobind Singh Sahib called a big meeting at Kesgarh Sahib near the City of Anandpur Sahib. Between fifty to eighty thousand Sikhs attended this meeting. When all were expecting to hear words of comfort and consolation from the lips of their Guru, they were perturbed to see him with a drawn sword in his hand and cried ' Is there anyone here who would lay down his life for Dharam?' There was a big silence, but the Guru went on repeating his demand. At the third call Daya Ram, a Khatri of Lahore, rose from his seat and offered himself. The Guru took him into an adjoining enclosure....(and soon after) came out with the (blood) dripping....(sword in hand) and flourshing it before the gathering, asked again, 'Is there any other Sikh here who will offer himself as a sacrifice(for the cause of dharma)? At this Daram Das, a Jat of Delhi (Haryana side) came forward and was taken into the enclosure....(The Guru again came out with the blood-stained sword, and made his previous demand). In the same way three other men stood up, one after another, and offered themselves for the sacrifice. One was Mohkam Chand, a chhimba of Dwarka (Gujarat State); another was Himmat, a cook of Jagannath (Orissa State); and the third was Sahib Chand, a barber of Bidar (Karnataka State). The Guru, after dressing the five in handsome clothes, brought them from the assembly.
These five were then administered 'Khande di Pahul' (the double-edged Sword Amrit). They were then knighted as Singhs, as the Five beloved ones, the first members of the Order of the Khalsa. The Guru then asked them to administer the Pahul to him in the same manner in which he had given the Pahul to them, and it was done so.
With the creation of Khalsa, the Khalsa created history and since the birth of Khalsa, the history of Punjab has been the history of Sikhs. Baisakhi played a significant role in this regard. In 1762, Ahmed Shah Abdali, with the sole purpose to destroy the entire Sikh nation, declared 'Jehad'(holy-war) against the Sikhs and all the Muslims of the Punjab rallied under this slogan. The Sikhs were surrounded near the village Kup in Ludhiana District. Chronicles mention that about twenty thousand Sikhs were martyred in a single day. This event is known in the history of the Sikhs as "Ghallughara" (Bloody Carnage). After this, Ahmed Shah Abdali thought that he had crushed the entire Sikh nation, but was greatly disillusioned when after a few months heard that the Sikhs in large number are celebrating Baisakhi at Amritsar. In due course of time Baisakhi reminds every Sikh of his cultural and religious heritage. On Baisakhi day all the Sikhs used to assemble at Amritsar and decide their problems relating to politics and religion. This convention still goes on.
The celebrations of Baisakhi are similar to the three-day schedule of the the celebrations of other Gurpurabs. It is generally celebrated on 13th April every year.
Punjabi Language
Punjabi (sometimes spelled Panjabi) is the official language of the Punjab regions of India and Pakistan. It is an Indo-European language of the Indo-Iranian subfamily. Also, as an adjective, the word Punjabi qualifies anything or anyone that is related to either Punjab or the Punjabi language, such as the speakers of Punjabi, inhabitants of the Punjab or the Punjabi cuisine of the region.
Punjabi is the official language of the Indian state of Punjab, and is also spoken in neighbouring areas such as Haryana and Delhi. In Pakistan, however, it is not an official language and has no official status in education. In formal contexts, such as government, newspapers, and education, as well as in most writing, Pakistani Punjabi speakers tend to use Urdu and English, which are the nation's official tongues. This has led to resentment from many Punjabi speakers, who form the largest single linguistic group in Pakistan (i.e. about 50% of the total Pakistani population, or above 60% if we include the closely related Punjabi dialect 'Siraiki', spoken in and around the historical city of Multan).
Punjabi is also spoken as a minority language in several other countries, including Afghanistan, as well as many nations where Punjabis have emigrated in large numbers, such as Britain, the United States and especially Canada where its the 6th largest language with 271 220 people using it on a daily basis. Punjabi is the sacred language of the Sikhs, in which the religious literature is written (See Adi Granth). It is the usual language of Bhangra music, which has recently gained wide popularity both in South Asia and abroad.
Punjabi culture, much like its Bengali counterpart, suffered a split between India and Pakistan during the Partition of 1947. As such, Punjabi language and culture tend to be uniting factors in spite of national and religious affiliations.
Modern Punjabi has borrowed extensively from other languages, including Hindi, Urdu, Persian and English. Like other North Indian languages, it is derived from Sanskrit and is therefore Indo-European. In addition, like Hindi and Urdu, it has a substantial number of loanwords from Arabic, Persian, and even a few from Turkish. Many sources subdivide the Punjabi language into Western Punjabi (Lahnda) and Eastern Punjabi.
There are several different scripts used for writing the Punjabi language, depending on the region and the dialect spoken, as well as the religion of the speaker. Sikhs and others in the Indian state of Punjab tend to use the Gurumukhi or Gurmukhi (from the mouth of the Gurus) script. Hindus, and those living in neighbouring states such as Haryana and Himachal Pradesh sometimes use the Devanagari script. Finally, Muslims, and in general Pakistani Punjabis, use a modified Arabic script called Shahmukhi(from the king's mouth). Shahmukhi script is almost like Urdu.
Much like English, Punjabi has moved around the world and developed local forms by integrating local vocabulary. While most loanwords come from English, Hindi and Urdu (and indirectly, from Persian and Arabic), Punjabi emigrants around the world have integrated terms from such languages as Spanish and Dutch. A distinctive "Diaspora Punjabi" is thus emerging. As there is no formal consensus over vocabulary and spelling in Punjabi, it is likely that Diaspora Punjabi will increasingly deviate from the forms found on the Indian Subcontinent in the future.
Punjabi is the official language of the Indian state of Punjab, and is also spoken in neighbouring areas such as Haryana and Delhi. In Pakistan, however, it is not an official language and has no official status in education. In formal contexts, such as government, newspapers, and education, as well as in most writing, Pakistani Punjabi speakers tend to use Urdu and English, which are the nation's official tongues. This has led to resentment from many Punjabi speakers, who form the largest single linguistic group in Pakistan (i.e. about 50% of the total Pakistani population, or above 60% if we include the closely related Punjabi dialect 'Siraiki', spoken in and around the historical city of Multan).
Punjabi is also spoken as a minority language in several other countries, including Afghanistan, as well as many nations where Punjabis have emigrated in large numbers, such as Britain, the United States and especially Canada where its the 6th largest language with 271 220 people using it on a daily basis. Punjabi is the sacred language of the Sikhs, in which the religious literature is written (See Adi Granth). It is the usual language of Bhangra music, which has recently gained wide popularity both in South Asia and abroad.
Punjabi culture, much like its Bengali counterpart, suffered a split between India and Pakistan during the Partition of 1947. As such, Punjabi language and culture tend to be uniting factors in spite of national and religious affiliations.
Modern Punjabi has borrowed extensively from other languages, including Hindi, Urdu, Persian and English. Like other North Indian languages, it is derived from Sanskrit and is therefore Indo-European. In addition, like Hindi and Urdu, it has a substantial number of loanwords from Arabic, Persian, and even a few from Turkish. Many sources subdivide the Punjabi language into Western Punjabi (Lahnda) and Eastern Punjabi.
There are several different scripts used for writing the Punjabi language, depending on the region and the dialect spoken, as well as the religion of the speaker. Sikhs and others in the Indian state of Punjab tend to use the Gurumukhi or Gurmukhi (from the mouth of the Gurus) script. Hindus, and those living in neighbouring states such as Haryana and Himachal Pradesh sometimes use the Devanagari script. Finally, Muslims, and in general Pakistani Punjabis, use a modified Arabic script called Shahmukhi(from the king's mouth). Shahmukhi script is almost like Urdu.
Much like English, Punjabi has moved around the world and developed local forms by integrating local vocabulary. While most loanwords come from English, Hindi and Urdu (and indirectly, from Persian and Arabic), Punjabi emigrants around the world have integrated terms from such languages as Spanish and Dutch. A distinctive "Diaspora Punjabi" is thus emerging. As there is no formal consensus over vocabulary and spelling in Punjabi, it is likely that Diaspora Punjabi will increasingly deviate from the forms found on the Indian Subcontinent in the future.
Happy Vasaikhi To All Punjabi's....
Happy Vasaikhi & Enjoy This Joke....
1) Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says " IF YOU BEHAVE LIKE THIS , YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR FRIENDS"
2)Brother Wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus "Send Me A Brother". Santa wrote back "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
3)Meaning Of WIFE
Husband asks "Do You Know the meaning of WIFE?".It means "Without Information Fighting Evertime!"
Wife replies, "No , It means With Idiot For Ever !!!"
4)Importance of a period
Teacher "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid "Yeah,once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted , dad got heart attack & our driver ran away".
HA ha ha ha ha.....HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS !!!
1) Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says " IF YOU BEHAVE LIKE THIS , YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR FRIENDS"
2)Brother Wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus "Send Me A Brother". Santa wrote back "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
3)Meaning Of WIFE
Husband asks "Do You Know the meaning of WIFE?".It means "Without Information Fighting Evertime!"
Wife replies, "No , It means With Idiot For Ever !!!"
4)Importance of a period
Teacher "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid "Yeah,once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted , dad got heart attack & our driver ran away".
HA ha ha ha ha.....HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS !!!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Singh Is King Part 2
Thanks to my friend waters/ Kah Heng who is working at india now , which is at benglore if im not wrong with the spelling. He did this to me maybe after watching the movie SINGH IS KING.....thanks mann.......i still can't stop laughing....
cheers.
Update Pictures...Freaking Funny....
It was fun with the banana...
sorry ray , u had to taste our banana....
at least u know what's the feeling of going down there.....
hhahahahahahahahhaha.............cheers
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A Day Out At QueensBay Mall (Sakae Sushi)
This picture was taken when i just landed from india which i can't remember the date. It was fun going out with my old friends , bringing back some old memories such as high school.
Enjoy...
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